


In Which the Hobbit Handles Fíli and Kíli Admirably

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo channels his inner Belladonna, Bilbo is like a stern parent, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 20:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13911576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: He was storming over to them before he could think about his actions, and his hands shot out and grabbed Fíli and Kíli by an ear each.





	In Which the Hobbit Handles Fíli and Kíli Admirably

Bilbo liked to think of himself as a fellow who thought things through. Before he met Gandalf, he would have told anyone who asked that he was a rather relaxed gentlehobbit with a calm mind and a reasonable disposition. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the _entire_ truth. As a matter of fact, since youth his sense of justice had a nasty habit of getting him into fixes, especially when his fabled self control fled and he ended up shoving Hamfast Gamgee out of a tree for insinuating that his mother’s cherry tarts were better than Belladonna’s.

Much to his chagrin, it appeared he had not changed much in his middle age, as he felt that dusty old outrage sparking again when he heard a commotion by the fire. Fíli and Kíli were teasing poor Ori, tossing his book about and watching him jump to catch it. From the looks on their faces, it likely seemed to them all good fun, but Ori looked genuinely distressed as he struggled to recover his precious journal. Bilbo scowled at them, but the little voice in his head that sounded like his father warned him of Thorin’s ire should he upset his nephews.

He very nearly turned the other way, if not for the distressed squawk Ori let out, but it was when the book passed too close to the fire that Bilbo’s indignation truly overtook his caution. Honestly, Ori was a sweetheart who deserved none of the nonsense those rapscallions were putting him through. He was storming over to them before he could think about his actions, and his hands shot out and grabbed Fíli and Kíli by an ear each. He tugging, watching with some satisfaction as they immediately dropped the book and grabbed at him instead with yelps of pain.

“Such rudeness, apologize at once.” he said sternly, twisting their ears, heedless of their hisses and yips. Ori quickly grabbed the book and clutched it to his chest, watching the scene with wide eyes.

“We’re sorry! We’re sorry, Ori!” Kíli yelped immediately, bent uncomfortably and trying to find an angle to ease the pain. Oh, Bilbo’s mother would be so proud of him right now.

“We didn’t mean anything by it!” Fíli added, doing the same thing, “Forgive us! We’re sorry!”

“That’s better.” Bilbo let them go, putting his hands on his hips as they scrambled to put some distance between them and the irate burglar, “Now I hope you’ll consider treating others with respect in the future. The heirs of a kingdom can’t be going around acting like common schoolboys, understand? I want your word that you’ll stop your silly teasing of poor Ori and act like grown ups.”

“Okay. Okay.” It was Fíli who spoke, and they held their hands up nervously as if Bilbo were a dangerous animal, “We swear, we’ll behave.”

“Promise.” Kíli added, nodding hard enough that it must have hurt, “Cross our hearts!”

“Good.” Bilbo nodded, unthinkingly stepping forward and patting their heads in spite of their flinches, “Now I think you two ought to make it up to Ori by taking his watch tonight, the poor boy has hardly slept a wink these last few days, and I won’t have it.”

“But-“ the boys stammered, but one raised eyebrow from Bilbo snapped their mouths shut. They slunk away sullenly, but Bilbo knew they’d be back to their old ways before the night was out. He sighed, glancing to Ori to make sure he was alright.

“Thank you, Mister Bilbo.” Ori said softly, eyes cast to the ground shyly, “You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“Oh, they’re no worse than the Cotton kids down the lane.” Bilbo waved, “Troublesome children sometimes need a firm hand, is all. My own mum used to... er...” his mind finally caught up with what he had done, and he felt a stab of fear, “Oh dear, do you think they’ll be cross with me? I do hope I haven’t overstepped my boundaries.”

“On the contrary, master burglar.” Thorin’s voice made both of them jump, “You handled them admirably.”

“Oh!” Bilbo turned to face him, craning his neck to meet his eyes, “Er... thank you, Thorin.”

“It takes a strong will to handle those two.” and Bilbo could swear Thorin was _smiling_ at him, “It would please me to see them put in their places more often.”

“Oh, well, I-I didn’t mean to assume or forget my place, as it were.” Bilbo tried to control his tongue, certain his face must be broadcasting his nervousness, “I wasn’t fully thinking, they just reminded me so much of the Cotton girls, I suppose I wasn’t thinking-“

“Halfling.” Thorin interrupted, smile fading slightly, “You talk too much.” He turned and left it at that, leaving Bilbo sputtering behind him. The _nerve!_ Ori patted his shoulder comfortingly, lips twisted in a wry smile even as his eyes shone with new admiration for him. Bilbo huffed and rolled his eyes at the appalling manners of the dwarven king, stating to Ori that he’d prefer Fíli and Kíli’s company to his. At least they had a sense of humor.

The princes in question were huddled together on the opposite side of the fire, unusually quiet and well behaved. They talked softly among themselves before Thorin barked at them to get to stay alert and pay attention to their surroundings.

“But Uncle!” Kíli protested, “Ori has first watch tonight!”

“And everyone here heard you promise our burglar that you would take Ori’s watch to make up for your behavior.” Thorin said with a hint of smugness. The boys stammered and whined, but it was a choice between some lost sleep and the honor of the line of Durin. They reluctantly sat up straight and obeyed, muttering among themselves as they stared into the trees.

Bilbo felt a little bad after that, and he made it up to them with a nice extra helping of soup when dinner was served. Their grateful smiles were well worth the disapproving look from Thorin.

Ori stuck close to Bilbo after that, and Fíli and Kíli’s pranks on him mysteriously stopped. Perhaps he wasn’t so out of place in this company after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I love Bilbo being a force of nature no one expects


End file.
